Well I would be totally lying to myself and everyone else if I said that I have been enjoying all the joyous moments a pregnancy can bring to a mother to be. Up to this point it's been such a roller coaster of stressful bumps for baby and I that it was hard to relax and enjoy.
I consider myself a strong person that can handle a lot emotionally and stressfully...what I've come to learn is that the reason I can perceive myself as strong is because I distance myself emotionally from the issue to protect myself. Unfortunately that has happened in this instance. I haven't allowed myself to wonder about who this little person is inside me, haven't thought about our life together, what to put in the nursery, and especially how I will feel the first time he/she is placed in my arms. It has been easier not to think about all that -just in case.
With 2 trips to the ER haemorrhaging, mysterious blood clots etc inside me, my placenta partially covering my cervix and fluid showing on the baby's brain; the last two months have been hellish. I'm not selfish enough to understand that some people have it much worse but honestly I don't care. This sucked for me, for Randy, for baby, for my family and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
There have been many prayers said for us and I can thankfully they have been answered. Yesterday I had another in depth ultrasound. It just happened by coincidence that my Drs nurse called me in the afternoon about my upcoming appt. It's two weeks away. While we were talking I asked her if Dr Cano could call me before my appt to let me know the results of the ultrasound and put my mind at ease. Well, yet another reason to love my OBGYN Dr Cano, she called after 6:30pm last night to tell me!
So I no longer have placenta Previa, it's not perfect still but improved. No more fluid on baby's brain! She mentioned other things but my mind blanked there. The only troublesome thing that showed up is that baby is developing a bit slow, in the 25th percentile for growth. It doesn't really surprise me, Ethan was fairly small when he was born, even though he was early he was still a bit below where he should have been. Also I've had such extreme stress both with the pregnancy and at work and I have only gained 12lbs so far. So baby and I will be taking the low stress road and eating a bit more (I've had no appetite due to the stress) for the next 3 months. We will have yet another ultrasound in a few weeks to check on progress.
I have 2 months exactly left of work. My last day is going to be Dec 14th. I will use up some holiday time before starting my maternity benefits so I extend my time away. I've given them a return date of Either Dec 30th, 2013 or January 6th, 2014. I plan on enjoying this time with my family and recharging my verve for life. It's so busy and hectic all the time while I'm working...
So today I'm picking some paint colours and some furniture for the nursery...it's time to enjoy it. As I sit here writing this baby is happily kicking away inside and I'm smiling...what a wonderful feeling!
A huge thanks to all our family and friends who've been there for us with prayers and shoulders while we walk this path, we are so grateful to you all.
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